1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:04,279 Don't look away. 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:05,679 SHE LAUGHS 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:12,519 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,000 Don't put that on telly! 5 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,679 Oo-ar! 6 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,080 I might just do this all day. 7 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,719 Argh! 8 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,559 This is weird! 9 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:23,919 So tight. 10 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,999 THEY EXCLAIM 11 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 12 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,119 Hello. 13 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,599 Welcome. 14 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,599 Welcome to Taskmaster. 15 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:40,999 Knock, knock. 16 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,239 Who's there? 17 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,319 Task. 18 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,439 Task who? 19 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,799 Task the way, a-ha, a-ha, 20 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,800 I like it. LAUGHTER 21 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,559 Doesn't particularly make sense, 22 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,599 and yet the allotted introduction time is filled, 23 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,719 and thus my contractual obligation, 24 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,919 and my next expensive holiday paid for. 25 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,960 See you in Cancun, Pablo. 26 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,999 Now, please welcome our five contestants. 27 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,600 Amy Gledhill... 28 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,759 ...Armando Iannucci... 29 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:14,959 Hello! 30 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,480 ...Joanna Page... 31 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,999 ...Joel Dommett 32 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,200 and Kumail Nanjiani. 33 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,039 And next to me, a man that told me 34 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,359 that he gets up every morning really early 35 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:34,680 because his postman has nice eyes and slinky hips. 36 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,039 Mm. 37 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:42,359 ♪ It's little Alex Ho-ooo-orne! ♪ 38 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,599 Right. Thank you. Hello. Hello, Mr Postman. 39 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:45,799 Thank you for that. 40 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,279 Prize task, then. What's the category this time? 41 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,479 WATCH BEEPS Well, Greg, this categorisation 42 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,919 involves personification for your verification, 43 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,679 as they've brought in an ordinary household object 44 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,999 with the most personality. 45 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,559 Mm. What exactly is personality? 46 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,279 I don't know, but Greg does, 47 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,239 so he'll judge their objects fiercely, 48 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,319 and then the winner of the episode 49 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,639 will go home with five new inanimate friends. 50 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:08,799 WATCH BEEPS Perfect. 51 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,879 Right. Good. 52 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,759 Kumail, what household object have you brought in with personality? 53 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,119 So I... Object with the most personality. 54 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,239 So a few years ago, my friends and I, 55 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,159 for New Year's Eve, we got an Airbnb and there was an ice maker there, 56 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,879 and I'll tell you his name once we look at him. 57 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,599 Here he is. 58 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,519 Oh. 59 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,040 This is Flabbergasted Phillip. 60 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,759 And so, just to illustrate how much personality he has, 61 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,839 here is him reacting to 62 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,839 The Sixth Sense. 63 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:39,959 He can't believe it! 64 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,039 Oh. What a twist. Ah, Phil! 65 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,359 Flabbergasted Phillip did not see it coming. 66 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,360 GREG GUFFAWS 67 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,559 Ah, great. 68 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,519 And one more. This is... There we go. 69 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,479 ...reacting to Joel pulling an egg 70 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,880 out of his crotch. 71 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,799 This is strong from you. Mmm. 72 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,279 I'm a big fan of Flabbergasted Phillip. Yeah. 73 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,999 And what noise...? I've got in my head 74 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,999 what noise I think Flabbergasted Phillip makes 75 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,759 when he's flabbergasted. 76 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,280 B-ah! 77 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:11,639 Joel, what have you brought in? 78 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,000 A corkscrew. All right. 79 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,359 Yeah. That's got so much personality! 80 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,919 Well, I didn't expect you just to have brought in any old corkscrew. 81 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,999 Yeah, but look how... 82 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,119 Cos then, when you... 83 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,639 Every time you get a bit of wine, 84 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,159 you open it up and it goes, 85 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:32,039 "O-o-oh, it's wine time!" 86 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,479 I think it goes the other way, doesn't it? 87 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,519 Yeah. 88 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:35,559 And then... No. 89 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,599 Ah! 90 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,519 It goes, "Ohh, it's wine time," 91 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,280 and he goes, "Now." 92 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,800 Good. Good. 93 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,279 Armando, have you brought in something better than a corkscrew? 94 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,439 I loved this task, actually, 95 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,199 because it made me just look at everything. 96 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,559 And in the office, 97 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,159 the hole puncher next to the printer 98 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:01,120 does look like someone's dropped a safe onto a duck. 99 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,200 This is his actual house. 100 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,559 Oh, and the duck's definitely dead! 101 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,879 Oh. It's dead. 102 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,959 O-a-ah! 103 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,519 Strong. Visual and strong. 104 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:22,319 Amy. I've brought in Lovely Linda, 105 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,039 a pregnancy pillow. 106 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,120 There she is. Ooh! 107 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,359 Ohh. 108 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,079 And you get in there, you sort of... 109 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,559 You can hold it and she holds you back 110 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,279 and you're never sad ever again. 111 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:37,479 Can I tell you something? Yeah. 112 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,759 I have got one of these. 113 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,759 Yes! Yes! 114 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,640 And I didn't know it was a pregnancy pillow. 115 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,959 I just thought, "Oh, this looks like a comfy thing." 116 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,079 It's brilliant. 117 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,559 My ex-boyfriend bought me this pregnancy pillow 118 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,400 and then he never had to hug me again. 119 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:54,880 Oh, no. 120 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,359 Joanna, what have you bought in? 121 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,559 I've brought in my gnome pig. 122 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,760 Gnome pig! Gnome pig. 123 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,079 So... Oh, my God! 124 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,959 Whoa! Oh, I hate him! 125 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,679 You're not the only one. 126 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,159 I first found him 25 years ago 127 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,239 and he nearly ended my marriage, 128 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,519 cos I found him in a garden centre, 129 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,919 and he's about that tall. 130 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,119 Oh, my God! 131 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,079 Where do you ever seen a gnome sitting on a pig? 132 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,359 It's incredible. 133 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,999 Oh, I thought... Yeah. Oh, he's SITTING on the pig. 134 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,279 He's SITTING on the pig. Yep. 135 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,039 {\an8}And my husband was adamant 136 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,279 {\an8}that weren't going to put him in the garden, 137 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,959 and said he hopes that somebody wins 138 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,479 and finally he can be away from our life. 139 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,399 But I don't, and I wish I hadn't said that now 140 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,159 cos I want more than one point for him. 141 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,400 Yeah! 142 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,279 So the category is, 143 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:48,159 an ordinary household object with the most personality. 144 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,679 I think because Joel did such a lovely job 145 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,519 of giving his corkscrew personality, 146 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,759 I'm going to give him two points. 147 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,839 Two to Joel. Two to Joel. 148 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,279 Squashed duck, Lovely Linda, three points. 149 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,279 So three to Armando and three to Amy? Yes. OK. 150 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,159 And four points to... 151 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,999 Big moment. ..gnome pig. Ah. 152 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,199 And it would have been five points 153 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,439 if gnome pig didn't disgust me so much. 154 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,599 Flabbergasted Phillip, 155 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,239 I feel like he's become a friend. 156 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,599 Yeah. I love that guy. 157 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,919 B-ah! 158 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,559 So five points to Kumail! Five points! 159 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,040 Five points! 160 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,319 Right, let's move on. What's next? 161 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,119 A bit of bowdlerisation, 162 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,879 a soupcon of suppression 163 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,159 and a pissload... Whoops! 164 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,360 ...of profanities. 165 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,999 Hey, man. Joel Dommett. 166 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,959 Fancy seeing you here. Yeah. 167 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,039 Well, I just want to say, 168 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,240 I think you are a complete BLEEP. 169 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,159 OK. Thank you very much. 170 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,040 Chair? I think you're an absolute BLEEP. 171 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,799 Just for the record, 172 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,360 I think you're a massive BLEEP. 173 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:05,999 What does that mean? 174 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,319 It's a compliment. 175 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,799 I think you are an absolute BLEEP. 176 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,999 Thank you. What do you think of me? 177 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,639 I think you're BLEEP. 178 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,199 I think you're BLEEP and BLEEP. 179 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,399 OK. 180 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,440 I think you're a twat. 181 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:23,760 OK. 182 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,080 All right, so where... 183 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,639 ...is the t...? 184 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,079 Massive BLEEP. 185 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,119 I've been so nice to you. 186 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,399 You have, actually. Yeah. 187 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,480 Do you know what I mean? 188 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,719 ARMANDO TUTS, HUMS 189 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,999 Ooh, what's this? Hang on. 190 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,439 Oh, no, it's just a fire safety notice. 191 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,039 Erm... So where is it? 192 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,919 Right, well, it's very close to you. 193 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,159 Am I hot? 194 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,399 Yes. OK. 195 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,800 Is it up there? No. No? 196 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,880 Is it...? Oh, for fuck's sake. 197 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:03,800 Honestly! 198 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,160 What happened there? Oh! 199 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,759 "Something yourself something." 200 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,359 "Blank yourself blank." 201 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,879 "Most blank necessary blank wins. 202 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,399 "You have blank minutes." 203 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,639 It can't... I mean, it can't be... 204 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,199 It can't be, "Finger yourself silly." 205 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,359 That would be outrageous. LAUGHTER 206 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,159 Can I just take the tape off? 207 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,000 You can do whatever you want, Kumail. 208 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,240 "Censor yourself..." 209 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,160 {\an8}"..unnecessarily." 210 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,999 {\an8}I'm actually genuinely intrigued now. 211 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,839 I've sort of forgotten about the game and I've... 212 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,319 Not a game. It's not a game, it's a task. 213 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,279 {\an8}"Most intriguing..." 214 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:48,919 "..unnecessary censorship wins." 215 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,639 {\an8}"You have 20 minutes." 216 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,199 "Your time starts now." 217 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,919 "Taskmaster." 218 00:08:55,920 --> 00:09:00,879 So things that you're censored for are language, 219 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,800 nudity, political views. 220 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,639 "And this is where her career ended, 221 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,800 "when she was naked, shouting hate speech." 222 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:17,799 Alex... Mm. 223 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,800 ...of all the things we just heard, what is the phrase I'm thinking of? 224 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,719 Yeah, it's, "Finger yourself silly." Jackpot. Yeah. 225 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,359 I don't know why that was the first thing that came to mind. 226 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,560 I don't really think that you would have asked that of us. 227 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,919 What I liked about it is you weren't making a joke. 228 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,399 You were really just working through it. 229 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,519 Yeah. "It can't be." 230 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,560 "I don't think it could be, 'Finger yourself silly'". 231 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,319 Am I right in thinking that Joel was the only one you insulted there? 232 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,879 I wouldn't have just insulted Joel. 233 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,519 I wouldn't have thought I would have singled him out in this series. 234 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,199 Erm... LAUGHTER 235 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,479 But I did call Joel a twat, and that's... 236 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,760 I just felt safe. 237 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,879 You became an entire shade of red I'd never seen before. 238 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,279 Yeah, it was awful. 239 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,719 He genuinely doesn't like saying bad things about people, though. 240 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,279 You know the worst thing I've ever heard him say? 241 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,080 "Well, they are difficult to like." 242 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,719 OK, let's go. Good news, kids, 243 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,319 it's story time with Miss Gledhill first of all. 244 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,760 This is a story called Alex And His Massive BLEEP. 245 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,519 Once upon a time, there was a boy called Alex 246 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,319 who was known across the land for having a ginormous BLEEP. 247 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,599 He'd brag about it to make appetites wet. 248 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,039 One woman said she'd love to 249 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:37,399 BLEEP and share it with her twin sister. 250 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,159 Alex proposed. 251 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,919 On their wedding night, he popped it on the table with one hand 252 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,999 and asked her to BLEEP it. 253 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:50,439 She tried, but it was so big it made her eyes water. 254 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:54,799 Alex waited till she was asleep and BLEEP off himself, 255 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:59,919 BLEEP so loudly that the wife ran in, alarmed. 256 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:02,999 She saw it had softened. 257 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,719 Her eyes didn't water any more. 258 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,160 She really loved it. 259 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,840 This is a story called Alex And His Massive Onion. 260 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,639 Once upon a time, there was a boy called Alex 261 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,439 who was known across the land for having a ginormous onion. 262 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,719 He'd brag about it to make appetites wet. 263 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,599 One woman said she'd love to cook it right up 264 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,599 and share it with her twin sister. 265 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,399 Alex proposed. 266 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:41,079 On their wedding night, he popped it on the table with one hand 267 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,959 and asked her to chop it. 268 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:48,519 She tried, but it was so big it made her eyes water. 269 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:53,279 Alex waited till she was asleep and browned it off himself, 270 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:58,319 frying so loudly that the wife ran in, alarmed. 271 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,879 She saw it had softened. 272 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,119 Her eyes didn't water any more. 273 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,680 She really loved it. 274 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,079 I knew I recognised your voice. 275 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,160 I wasted a fortune on those phone lines in the '90s! 276 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,520 Brown it off yourself! 277 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,679 Shall we have a brief interval? I think we should. 278 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,359 All right, then. It's time for a brief interval. 279 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,880 Off you go. Alex, good luck. Yes! 280 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,319 We let him bring his guinea pig in today. 281 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,639 It's dead, but he hasn't noticed. 282 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,159 LAUGHTER 283 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,400 We'll see you in a bit. 284 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,199 Hello! 285 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,239 Welcome back to the start of part two, 286 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,999 where our cast are busy censoring things unnecessarily, 287 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,799 but what's the key criteria I need to judge them on, Alex? 288 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,399 It's the most... Whoops! Whoops! MEOW SOUND EFFECT 289 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,119 ...that wins. 290 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,519 OK. Next up, 291 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,799 he's the creative mastermind of a lot of the greatest comedy 292 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,639 to come out of the UK in the last 30 years, 293 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,280 so this is bound to be something rather special. 294 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,760 Armando Iannucci's unnecessary censorship. Ah. 295 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,439 Right, here we go. 296 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,119 Right, so you know what you're doing immediately, do you? 297 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,840 I think so. Don't you? 298 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,599 {\an8}That's me. A bit of hair there. 299 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,640 {\an8}Eyes. 300 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,319 Right. 301 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,400 A bit of pixelating. 302 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,399 Right, so here we go. 303 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680 Censorship, right? Ready? ARMANDO CLEARS THROAT 304 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,639 Old MacDonald had a farm, 305 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,759 e-ugh, I, e-ugh, I, e-ugh. 306 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,400 And on that farm, he had some ble-ugh... 307 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,119 ...e-ugh, I, e-ugh, I, e-ugh. 308 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,599 With a e-ugh, e-ugh there 309 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,879 and a e-ugh, e-ugh there, 310 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,279 here... 311 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,919 Here, a e-ugh, there, a e-ugh, 312 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,799 everywhere, a... 313 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,439 Oh, ugh, fuck it, run! 314 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,439 Old MacDonald had a farm... 315 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,359 Ugh, fuck it! ...E-I... 316 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,319 GARBLED GRUNT ...I... 317 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,759 GARBLED SPEECH 318 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,000 ...O. 319 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,239 E... HE GROWLS 320 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,239 No, wait. GROWLING CONTINUES 321 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,280 O. 322 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,039 Is there a time limit? Am I done or do I do more? 323 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,080 I feel like you might have done enough. OK. 324 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,759 During the break, I said to them, 325 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,480 "I think I might look like I'm having a nervous breakdown." 326 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,719 I have a question. Yes. 327 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,440 Why did it say, "Help me"? 328 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:52,839 Well... 329 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,600 Well, I think that's rather evident. 330 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,880 I just felt like writing it! 331 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,199 It's absolutely fascinating. Yeah. 332 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,399 It all happened very quickly, didn't it, Armando? It did, yeah. 333 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,959 You rushed in, you did that... Yeah. 334 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,679 ...and then rushed out again. Yeah. 335 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:08,879 Did you find me in the end? 336 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,800 I think I just wandered off into a park. 337 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,399 You were still doing it in the park, yeah. Yeah. 338 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,639 There was a duck pond there, 339 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,640 and I threw a safe onto one of the ducks. 340 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,799 Well, who's next? 341 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,519 Let's try and find something that's, you know, less frightening. 342 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,759 Well, Greg, we're actually going to see 343 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,679 all three of the remaining attempts at unnecessary censorship 344 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,879 with Joanna, Joel and Kumail. 345 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,759 It's really hot today, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it's warm. 346 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,999 Oh, my God, it's balmy! 347 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,159 {\an8}And the air conditioner is not working? 348 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,919 We don't have AC here, I'm so sorry. 349 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,119 Are you not used to this? 350 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,999 Oh, my God. 351 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,679 No, not THIS kind of heat. 352 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,639 This is too much. 353 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,959 KUMAIL EXHALES 354 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,319 I feel I'm gonna overheat. 355 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,560 Hey, do you have any scissors? 356 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,520 Oh, thank you. Don't run with them. 357 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:56,919 I'm not going to run with them. 358 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,560 I'm not gonna run, it's too hot. 359 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,120 JOANNA GROANS 360 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,560 JOANNE GROANS, GRUNTS 361 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,319 Oh, that's much better. 362 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,919 SCISSORS CLATTER 363 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,200 Ohh. 364 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,079 Oh, that's much better. 365 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,480 Ah. KUMAIL CHUCKLES 366 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,839 Hey, guys. Hey. Hey. Sorry. 367 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,319 We're doing a television show, and if you sign this, 368 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,879 we can unblur your face. 369 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,319 OK. Just everybody sign there. 370 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,679 Is that all right? Yeah, yeah. OK. 371 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,079 Should I sign for him? Yeah, yeah. 372 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,559 OK. Sign for legal guardian, 373 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,079 I suppose, all of that stuff. 374 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,080 It's a lovely view, isn't it? Yeah. 375 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,639 Beautiful. 376 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,200 Thank you so much. Thank you. 377 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,840 JOANNA GROANS 378 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,840 Oh, that hit the spot! 379 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,239 KUMAIL EXHALES You look better. 380 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,960 Oh, it's breezy now, isn't it? 381 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,160 Lovely. 382 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,400 Kumail, what's going on with the...? 383 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,600 Oh, um... 384 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,279 I was born without nipples. 385 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,439 All the men in my family 386 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:44,799 are born without nipples. 387 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,399 You know what they called me in school? 388 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,800 "No nipple Nanjiani." 389 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,559 You see? There's nothing there. 390 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,999 It's just... You... 391 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,239 You should ask before you touch. Oh, sorry. 392 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,440 Just ask. 393 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,599 I don't know what the hell's going on. 394 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,359 There's double layers of unnecessary 395 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,679 because male nipples don't need to be censored anyway, 396 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,919 plus, I don't got any. 397 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,120 Oh, my God. 398 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,599 This has all freaked me out so much, 399 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,959 I've almost forgotten that 400 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,280 Joanna seemed to be ramming things into her backside... 401 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:24,759 ...and ostensibly, Joel's VT showed him revealing his penis to a child. 402 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,559 With permission - he signed the form. 403 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,839 With permission. With permission. 404 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,360 I'm feeling a bit better. 405 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,240 I wouldn't get too comfortable. 406 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,759 What was it? Censor yourself unnecessarily. 407 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,799 Most unnecessary censorship wins. 408 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,239 "Unnecessary"? Most unnecessary. 409 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,559 I'm giving Amy five points 410 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,039 because there was no need to censor any of that, 411 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,559 because it was a lovely story about an onion. 412 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,039 There were things in all of the others 413 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,519 that should have been censored, 414 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,439 so I'm giving everybody else four points. 415 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,079 Right. Whoa! 416 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,719 OK, Five, four, four, four, four. 417 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:53,720 APPLAUSE 418 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,719 OK, what are the scores right now, Alex? 419 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,239 Right. It's close this time. 420 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,479 Amy and Joanna are in joint second on eight points. 421 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,359 Kumail's in the lead with nine points. 422 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,600 WHISTLING 423 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,799 Right, let's have another one, please. 424 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,840 Well, I have a lovely one right here with bells on. 425 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,160 BELLS JANGLING 426 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,160 Wow. 427 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,440 Wow! 428 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,119 Are you going to fire me out of a cannon or...? What's... 429 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,360 I'm not sure yet. Ha-ha, ha. 430 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,320 You look good. Thank you very much. Safety first. 431 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,599 Hello, Joanna. Hello! 432 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,560 You look like a safety-conscious tourist. 433 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,480 JOANNA CHUCKLES 434 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,640 Hello, Kumail. Alex. 435 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:06,800 You're covered in bells. 436 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,279 Oh, yeah. 437 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,119 It's like a sort of modern jester, is it? Very much so. 438 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,880 Would it be inappropriate to call you a bellend? 439 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,800 Open up the task. 440 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,799 JOANNA GASPS "Take the most photos 441 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,159 "featuring at least 50% of the Taskmaster's assistant." 442 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,479 That's you. 443 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,839 "The Taskmaster's assistant must stay within the arena..." 444 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,439 "..and will run when you clap." Mm-hm. 445 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,199 The arena is the courtyard. 446 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,599 "You must wear your blindfold correctly at all times 447 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,679 "and must not run." 448 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,319 Oh, I see. 449 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,679 I'm going to hear you. ARMANDO LAUGHS 450 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,479 "You have ten minutes and a maximum of 24 pictures. 451 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,359 "Your time starts when you have donned your blindfold." 452 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,319 Right. So I've got to capture you using these things. 453 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,839 Taking pictures with my ears! 454 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,080 I think this will be the hard bit, putting this on. 455 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,999 And when that's on, I'll start the clock. 456 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,199 Right, there we go. 24 pictures, ten minutes. 457 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,839 Don't waste your pictures. There we go. 458 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,959 Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh, that sounded painful. 459 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,479 Was it as painful as it sounded? It was... Sorry? 460 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,919 Was it painful? 461 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,839 I'm also hard of hearing - that's the other problem. 462 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,320 Ah, right. It's OK. 463 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,639 If you sort of think about 464 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,199 the things that the bricks of Hampton Court 465 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,239 have witnessed over the years, 466 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,400 this feels like a real come-down, doesn't it? 467 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,559 A hard-of-hearing man with boggle-y eyes, 468 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,639 a grown woman saying, "So I've got to take pictures with my ears." 469 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,559 But I am very much looking forward to it. 470 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,799 Well, first to clap and snap, 471 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,239 it's comedian Amy Gledhill 472 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,039 and TV presenter Joel Edmunds. 473 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,040 Here we go. 474 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,799 Have you got your blindfold on? Yes. 475 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,840 OK. 476 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,359 24 pictures. All right. 477 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,680 And the time has started? 478 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,120 Hello? 479 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,319 OK, I guess that means the time started. 480 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,879 OK, so if I... 481 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,160 AMY SQUEALS, LAUGHS 482 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,920 JOEL EXHALES 483 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,439 Follow me. I can see little bells tinkling. 484 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,520 Where are you? 485 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,239 AMY SQUEALS 486 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,520 The bells are close! 487 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,599 AMY SCREAMS 488 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,879 JOEL GRUNTS 489 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,880 Ahh! 490 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,199 The bells have stopped. 491 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,720 You've taken the top off. 492 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,880 JOEL GASPS 493 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,720 Where have you gone? AMY SQUEALS 494 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,719 AMY GASPS 495 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:13,919 Oh, you're so close, 496 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,280 you creepy, creepy bell man. 497 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:18,880 Ha. 498 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,079 {\an8}What part of the body is that? 499 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,399 {\an8}Well, I'm sort of content. 500 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:27,640 {\an8}It's what? Nothing. 501 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,239 BELL TOLLS JOEL STARTLES 502 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,520 That's confusing. 503 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,159 You've got ten seconds. OK. Good. 504 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,240 I don't know how many photos I've taken. Ten seconds. 505 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,799 WHISTLE BLOWS 506 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,159 Where do you think you are? 507 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,359 I don't know. 508 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,639 Oh, I didn't think I was here. 509 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,880 AMY SIGHS 510 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,559 Well, sort of as I imagined, really. 511 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:02,279 Not a lot of dignity there, but good, I thought. 512 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,439 It's really scary 513 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,479 because you're blindfolded and it's cobble-y 514 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,199 and there's a creepy, creepy bell man running around. 515 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,479 I would very much like Creepy, Creepy Bell Man 516 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,840 to catch on as a name. 517 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,359 Joel, at one point, Alex was lying on the floor 518 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:19,199 and you felt his heel up to his sock 519 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,639 all the way up his leg, 520 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,919 and then he spoke to you 521 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,759 and you still couldn't work out what position he was in. 522 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,199 Yeah, it was difficult. 523 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,640 I think I became mesmerised by his thighs. 524 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,439 It happens. OK. 525 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,959 This is the end of part two, 526 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,280 whether you like it or not. 527 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:46,879 Hello! 528 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,159 Welcome back to part three, 529 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,959 where this idiot's been prancing about 530 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,719 in the extreme heat covered in bells. 531 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,239 Yes. 532 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,359 They have to take the most photos featuring at least 50% of me, 533 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:59,159 and can take a maximum of 24 pictures. 534 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,199 Also, I must run when they clap, 535 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,799 and I'm pretty sure that's the only bit Kumail heard, 536 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,520 so here he is now, as well as Armando and Joanna. 537 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,840 BELLS JANGLE 538 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,720 Alex? Alex, are you there? 539 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,279 Can we call a time-out? 540 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,120 I have something very important to ask you. 541 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,160 Alex, I have a medical emergency. 542 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,799 Alex, I have a medical emergency, talk to me. 543 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,280 What is the problem? 544 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,319 Right. 545 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,639 BELLS JANGLE 546 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,600 JOANNA LAUGHS 547 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,279 I just realised it's really hot, 548 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,080 and if I clap, you have to run. 549 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,120 KUMAIL LAUGHS 550 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:08,519 Ah! 551 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,359 KUMAIL LAUGHS 552 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,079 {\an8}Are you enjoying running in the sun? No, I don't like it. 553 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,359 JOANNA LAUGHS If I make you run, 554 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,320 you might get tired and then stay still. 555 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,319 How many photos do you think you've taken, Jo? 556 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:28,839 I think I've taken loads, 557 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,359 so you can enjoy your last ten seconds. 558 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,319 OK. Go, Alex, go! 559 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,359 ARMANDO CLAPS I've probably used them up, 560 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,400 so I'm just going to keep clapping. Ah, really? 561 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,560 KUMAIL LAUGHS 562 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,879 KUMAIL CLAPS 563 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,999 Are you tired? Yes, I'm really tired. 564 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,799 KUMAIL CHORTLES 565 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,679 Whoa! I'm sweating pints. 566 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,240 Are you all right? No. 567 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,280 Cup of tea? Cup of tea? Yeah. Yeah. 568 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,959 As far as I can work out, 569 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,999 Kumail and Joanna just mainly used this task 570 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,199 as an excuse to make him run around. 571 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,959 I enjoyed it. Oh, yeah, 572 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,240 we could tell because you were hooting like a mad woman. 573 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,039 How did Armando do? Was Armando the most accurate? 574 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,159 Armando did do very well, 575 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,999 but Kumail was the only one who had a proper tactic, 576 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,879 which was to stand as far away from the noise as possible, 577 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,399 when you're more likely to get more of me in the field of vision. Wider. 578 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,639 Because I realised early on that he was ducking. 579 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,439 Did you realise that, Joel? 580 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:32,839 No. 581 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,879 That's the difference between me and Kumail, 582 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,399 because, you know, he's an incredible actor 583 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,319 and he knows sort of the depth of field... Yeah. 584 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,280 ...and I'm going, like, "Ooh, bells!" 585 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,199 Joanna's tactic was to take 87 pictures. 586 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,439 87? 587 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,399 And we could only use the first 24 of them, which weren't your best. 588 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,679 Oh, my God. I can show you what they did if you want. 589 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:53,879 Yes, show me. 590 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,319 So the most photos of 50% of me 591 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,519 was taken by Kumail, who took 12. 592 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,759 Ah! Amy and Armando both got ten photos of me. 593 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,479 Joanna, six photos of me. 594 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,919 Joel, just three out of 24. 595 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,319 What? Ah. 596 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:10,959 Oh, I'm shocked because I was like, 597 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,839 "I'm OK tanking this one just to make you miserable," 598 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,359 and I won! Ha-ha! 599 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,279 Five points to Kumail. 600 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,759 Yes. Well done. 601 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,519 So that means Joel got one point, Joanna, two points. 602 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,279 Joint second, Amy and Armando get four points, 603 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,039 but the winner is Kumail with five points. 604 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:27,599 CHEERING, APPLAUSE Well done, Kumail. 605 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,879 Lovely. Let's have one more task, please. Oh, yes. 606 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,999 And just like when Greg goes for a run, 607 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,120 this one involves a lot of staring. 608 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,200 BUZZER BEEPS 609 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,119 Hello. Ooh! 610 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,839 Joel. How's it going? Yeah, good. 611 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,559 Shall I open this or... Yes. 612 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,999 ...are you going to banter? 613 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,880 No, I just want to watch you put your glasses on. 614 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,599 "Do not look away from this task." 615 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:07,519 "Put nine nuts and/or nails in the nappy." 616 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,279 "Put pine nuts and/or nails..." 617 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,559 Do you want to try to read that one again? 618 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:18,159 "Put pine nuts and/or nails in the nappy." 619 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,279 Definitely? 620 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,400 "Put pine nuts..." That's the bit I'm worried about. 621 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:23,640 Oh. 622 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:30,599 I read it so many times! I read it so many times! 623 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,919 I read it so many times. 624 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,879 "Every time you look away, 625 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,599 "one minute will be added to your time." 626 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,759 "You have a maximum of 19 minutes. Fastest wins." 627 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,519 {\an8}"Your time starts now." 628 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,199 {\an8}I did not really get a... BUZZER BEEPS 629 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,519 {\an8}Oh, you just looked away from the task. 630 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,160 "Put nine nuts..." 631 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,680 "Put nine nuts in..." 632 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,959 BUZZER BEEPS I read it so many times! 633 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,080 I'm sorry! BUZZER BEEPS 634 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,559 I'm not sure we should bother seeing the task. 635 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,479 I think we've had our fun with this, haven't we? 636 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,560 Look, it's no secret, I'm losing this whole show... 637 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,000 ...I find reading the task the hard bit. 638 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,959 It's not looking great for me. 639 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,279 The only saving grace is 640 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,159 I've got a fucking egg in my pocket. 641 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,159 LAUGHTER 642 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,759 APPLAUSE 643 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:32,999 Let's do it, man. 644 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,399 Two people up first. It's Jo, it's Kumail. 645 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,799 It's Jo and Kumail. 646 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,319 OK, so, 647 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,159 {\an8}one minute will be added to my time. BUZZER BEEPS 648 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,319 I'm going to do a quick one. 649 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:42,759 I'm going to give it a quick one to look around. 650 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:43,959 Right, there's the nappy. 651 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,639 {\an8}Right, where are nuts? 652 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:46,719 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS 653 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:47,800 {\an8}JOANNA GUFFAWS 654 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,079 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS You definitely just looked... 655 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,119 {\an8}ALEX STIFLES LAUGHTER - I did. - Yes, you did. 656 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,359 Pop Goes The Weasel 657 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,600 Why was I still surprised? 658 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,120 BUZZER BEEPS 659 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,800 In the nappy... BUZZER BEEPS 660 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,879 BUZZER BEEPS You just looked away from the task. 661 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,680 No, I didn't. That time I did NOT. 662 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,439 What are they? I think that's a party popper. 663 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,719 I'm going to do it at the floor. 664 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:22,879 Whoa! 665 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,879 I saw there was a hammer in here. 666 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,400 Eugh! 667 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,879 BUZZER BEEPS That's just a hammer. 668 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,199 BUZZER BEEPS, SQUEAKING Ooh! 669 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,720 Nine nuts. There's a nut in there. 670 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,399 {\an8}OK, that's a nut. 671 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,439 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS Hey, we've got a nut. 672 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,760 Is that a nut? It is a nut. 673 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,080 It's so unpleasant. 674 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,959 {\an8}"Put nine nuts..." God, that is a lot, isn't it? 675 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,719 {\an8}What is that? BUZZER BEEPS 676 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,119 {\an8}Oh! It's a nut. 677 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,120 {\an8}Ooh. 678 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,799 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS Nut? 679 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,199 No, that was a tiny rubber ducky 680 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,359 and you know it. 681 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,839 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS It is... 682 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,839 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS ...an egg. 683 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,079 JOANNA GIGGLES 684 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,119 BUZZER BEEPS 685 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,119 Nuts. That's two nuts. 686 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,239 Right. 687 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:09,879 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS It's a nail. 688 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,359 {\an8}It's a nail! 689 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,519 "Put nine nuts or nails 690 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:14,959 "in the nappy." Ha-ha! 691 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,839 {\an8}JOANNA LAUGHS 692 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,279 {\an8}I've got the nail. 693 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,639 Is this guy holding something? 694 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,479 Oh, my God. 695 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:23,720 He's holding a nut. 696 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,199 Oh, my God, were all the other things 697 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,600 also holding nuts? BUZZER BEEPS 698 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,999 Oh, wow, that's so small. BUZZER BEEPS TWICE 699 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,999 What is it? It's a nut. Oh. 700 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,279 There's something in there. 701 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,639 He's going to have lots of nuts. 702 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,879 {\an8}One, two, three, four. 703 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,199 Is this the nappy? 704 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,519 You're making me take underwear off a doll 705 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,119 and that feels very wrong. 706 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:48,559 If you want. 707 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,079 If I want? 708 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,479 None of this is what I want! 709 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:53,719 I don't think it's big enough 710 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:54,959 to hold everything. 711 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,959 Oh, OK. So then this would be the nappy. 712 00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,400 So I did this for no reason. 713 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,639 {\an8}JOANNA GASPS Damn it! 714 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,399 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS It's a nut. OK. 715 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,520 Oh, yeah, that's nine, baby. 716 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,400 I have got nine nuts. 717 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,639 Honestly, very proud of how I handled that. 718 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,439 I've stopped the clock. Wow! 719 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:20,920 I feel like I nailed that. 720 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,359 I went through a few emotions with you, Kumail, during that. Yeah. 721 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,599 My fear was that people in Hollywood would be watching, 722 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,599 and they would see you jump with fear over a jack-in-the-box 723 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,679 that you'd set yourself. 724 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,119 And then, of course, we hit upon the thing 725 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,599 that I think everyone will remember you for, 726 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,039 and that's taking tiny pants off a doll. 727 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,720 LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH 728 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,799 No, you said nappy. I didn't know there was a nappy 729 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,079 cos we weren't allowed to look away from the card... 730 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,319 Mm. ..and I thought, "Well, I don't think I could 731 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,200 "fit nine nails in this baby doll's underwear." 732 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,719 Joanna was absolutely on point. Mm-hm. 733 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,919 Sense of absolute authority, 734 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,799 particularly proved by, 735 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,359 "Right, this is a party popper. 736 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:08,640 "I'm going to fire it on the floor." 737 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,119 Why? Why? Why? In c... 738 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,959 I didn't want to take any of the crew out! 739 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,239 Joanna had a very good tactic, 740 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:16,519 because it's every time you look away, 741 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,159 one minute will be added to your time, and you said, 742 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,079 "Right, well, I'm going to have a little look at the beginning..." 743 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:21,639 Yeah. Yeah. ...but if you just carried on... 744 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,439 It's every time you look away. You could look away once, 745 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,159 gather all nine... Oh, my God! 746 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,239 We thought you were going to do that. 747 00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,039 You started doing that and then you stopped yourself. 748 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,039 Oh, my God, that's unbelievable. 749 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,399 Kumail, you looked away so many times. 750 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,919 It took you 12 minutes, 15 seconds to find the nine things 751 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,199 and you looked away 78 times, so that's... Oh, my God. 752 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,319 ...over an hour and a half. Oh, my God. 753 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:43,559 Over an hour and a half. 754 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,359 Compared to Joanna, 5 minutes 40. Oh, thank God. 755 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,119 You looked away 31 times, so that's 36 minutes, 40 seconds. 756 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,239 Oh, my God. 757 00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:54,440 Right, now it's Amy and Joel's turn to put pine nuts in the nappy. 758 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,960 Is that a nut? 759 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,719 That's a nut. Ah, great. 760 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:04,399 Are you allergic to nuts? 761 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,599 Oh, no. Yeah, no, I'm fine. 762 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,679 Nuts or nails? 763 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,079 {\an8}Nuts or nails? BUZZER BEEPS 764 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,599 {\an8}No. That's a slight look away. 765 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,959 Argh! 766 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,480 JOEL SIGHS 767 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:16,760 Nut. 768 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:19,520 That's a nut. 769 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,159 Duck. 770 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,000 Eugh! It's wet! 771 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,799 {\an8}It's wet and that's soft. 772 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,839 That's, like, a hammer or something? Mm-hm. 773 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,119 BUZZER BEEPS OK. OK. 774 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,359 BUZZER BEEPS OK. O... 775 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,919 OK. 776 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,159 Oh, ice. Ice balls. 777 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:36,719 What would an ice ball be? 778 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,639 What is that?! 779 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,960 If it's icy, there could be something inside the ice. 780 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:44,320 Ha! 781 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,759 Oh, it's a duck! It's a goddamn duck! 782 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,039 Is that a finger? 783 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,519 Oh, a nail! 784 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,359 Nail! These have to melt? BUZZER BEEPS 785 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,319 Oh, yeah. 786 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:58,719 All right. OK. 787 00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:01,079 Pop Goes The Weasel 788 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,960 Huh! Is that a nut? 789 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,719 Oh, ha! Oh, yes! 790 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:08,919 Four of the nails there. 791 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,239 Can I get them off? 792 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:13,519 Oh, baby. It's a duck. 793 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,399 It's a... It's a fucking duck! 794 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,600 Please be a nut. 795 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,799 {\an8}Yes! That is a nut. 796 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:21,920 Oh! 797 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,640 Oh, you're trying to melt an ice ball. Yeah. 798 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:30,519 It's gonna be in one of these, isn't it? 799 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,839 It's gonna be in one of these. 800 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,160 Hammer. There's a hammer. 801 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:37,799 Yes. 802 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,599 {\an8}Alex, it's nearly out! 803 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,199 Great news. Ah! 804 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,640 That's out. That's out. 805 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:45,840 Ooh, it's a nail. 806 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,439 {\an8}Oh, this is great! 807 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,039 That's out! 808 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,639 That's out, quick as a flash. 809 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,479 Last one. 810 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,439 Nails. I haven't got many nails. 811 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,359 There's got to be, like, more nails. 812 00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,839 Where do you normally find nails? BUZZER BEEPS 813 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,399 The wall? 814 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,679 JOEL GASPS Oh! O-o-oh! 815 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,640 Stop it! Where's my hammer? 816 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,039 You need three more. 817 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,880 Oh, that's so fun to pull out. 818 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:14,359 This is a NAIL nail. 819 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,679 {\an8}Oh, it just came out! BUZZER BEEPS 820 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,439 {\an8}Agh! Stop the clock! 821 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,640 {\an8}I've stopped the clock. 822 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,519 Ah, that felt cool. 823 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,199 30 seconds. 824 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:25,599 Yeah! 825 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:26,719 Oh, I've always wanted to use 826 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:28,600 the other side of the hammer! 827 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,840 I've stopped the clock. Yes! 828 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:41,319 Well, I often liken Joel to a child in this series, 829 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,799 and he didn't disappoint. 830 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,799 He was the only person to put nuts in his mouth, 831 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,359 he shouted, "Oh, that's so fun to pull out," about a nail. 832 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,519 My favourite quote - 833 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,360 "I've always wanted to use the other side of a hammer!" 834 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,159 So great. You know, it's all fun hitting them in... Mm. 835 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,159 ...but I've never... Pulled one out! 836 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,439 ...had the confidence to pull them out. 837 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,639 You started off childlike as well, I thought. 838 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,239 There was actually a still where I thought, 839 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:08,039 "Aw, Amy looks ten years of age there." 840 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,159 Yeah. Here, look at her little face. 841 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,280 "Oh, I'm all wet." Aw! 842 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:13,520 You look cute. 843 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,479 You certainly got rid of any innocence 844 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,639 once you started defrosting ice cubes with your cleavage. 845 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,560 I found myself going, "Ooh, matron." 846 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,639 Well? Well. Yeah, she did do well. 847 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,279 She did it in 9 minutes, 8 seconds. 848 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,319 Joel, 18 minutes, 48 seconds. 849 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,319 But Joel only looked away six times in total. Wow! 850 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,679 By far the least. 851 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,599 Amy looked away ten times in total... OK. 852 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,719 ...which means you scored 24 minutes 48. 853 00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,959 Amy, 19 minutes, 8 seconds. Oh, wow. 854 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,799 She's in the lead at the moment. Good. Wow. 855 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,479 Yeah. One person left to see. 856 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,159 And is the fact that you've kept me to the end... 857 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,239 It's interesting, isn't it? 858 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,280 ...because I might come across as a lunatic? 859 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:58,240 Well, I'm sure we're all looking forward to seeing Old MacDonald. 860 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,479 Right, that's the end of part three. 861 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,759 Soon, someone will win five ordinary household items 862 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,919 and then have to celebrate with them onstage 863 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,959 in what is set to be the blandest end credit sequence 864 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,519 we've ever had on the show. 865 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,000 We'll see you in a minute. 866 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,319 Hello! 867 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,719 Here we are, then. 868 00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:28,239 It's the last part of the show, 869 00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,879 and the first item on the agenda is completing a task 870 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,159 involving some intense concentration. 871 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,879 Yes, because they have to stare at the task the whole time 872 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,919 while trying to source nine nuts and/or nails. 873 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,199 And if you're after a good concentration face, 874 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:45,600 then look no further than the final attempt with Armando. 875 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,600 Ooh, is that a nappy? 876 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,520 Got the nappy. Great. 877 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:55,919 Ha-ha, ha-ha! 878 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,360 {\an8}I've got a nut! Yes. 879 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,439 {\an8}It's actually quite therapeutic! 880 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,319 Right, I'm done with this. OK. 881 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,199 I'm bored with glop. 882 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,599 Poppers or something? 883 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,440 I mean, as in party poppers. Yeah. 884 00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:11,479 There we go, like that. Ow. 885 00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,399 Did something come out of that, did you say? Yeah, it hit me. 886 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,320 {\an8}Yeah. So if I do that... 887 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,839 Oh, it's a nut. Yes. 888 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,239 {\an8}Whoa! 889 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:22,719 {\an8}Right, OK. 890 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,120 Ooh, hang on. 891 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:26,799 {\an8}Can't go wrong with a sock. 892 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,599 Oh, right. 893 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,119 Oh, yes, there's a nut. 894 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,119 I forgot that I could actually hold things up in front of me. 895 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,479 {\an8}I actually forgot the use of my eyes. 896 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,520 Why are you looking up so high? Well... 897 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,240 Yes, I could look down, couldn't I? While I'm doing all this? 898 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,640 Ah! Oh, it's a hammer. 899 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,559 Right, what's this? What the fuck is this? 900 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,839 BUZZER BEEPS Oh, that's... 901 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,480 Oh, that's disappointing. 902 00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,519 Ooh. Ooh. 903 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,239 {\an8}Ah, a gold mine. Happy days. 904 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:03,640 {\an8}Yeah. 905 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,359 ARMANDO GROANS 906 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,079 Who's that? 907 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,639 "Jimmy." 908 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,479 Is he, like, a nut? 909 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,159 He'll nut you. Jimmy Nut? Jimmy Nut. 910 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,920 {\an8}If it is, it's weak. 911 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,719 No, it's not Jimmy Nut. 912 00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,399 {\an8}Ooh! 913 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:27,719 {\an8}Something fell there. 914 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,799 Aha, there's a nut. 915 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,839 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPS And while I'm here, I might as well 916 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,040 {\an8}just do a general sweep round as I turn. 917 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:41,639 {\an8}BUZZER BEEPING REPEATEDLY 918 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:42,959 {\an8}There we go. Ah. 919 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,800 {\an8}ARMANDO LAUGHS - Stop the clock? - Oh! 920 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:51,559 It was Jimmy Nail, not Jimmy Nut. 921 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,359 Exactly. Jimmy Nail. Yeah, I worked it out now. 922 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,360 I worked it out now. I just got it. 923 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,040 There was character work there - "Ooh, the hammer!" 924 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,399 I think this episode has set you free. 925 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,600 Can't wait for the finale. 926 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,279 Well, he was doing well. 927 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,119 He was quite quick - 11 minutes, 11 seconds. 928 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,399 But there were 35 looks away. 929 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:16,919 So scores-wise, 930 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,639 obviously, Kumail, one point with an hour and a half. 931 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,599 Armando, you were second last, you get two points - 932 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,839 46 minutes in total. 933 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,279 Joanna, third, three points, Joel, second, four points. 934 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,839 The winner was Amy Gledhill with 19 minutes and 5 points! 935 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:31,999 Wow. Fabulous. 936 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,119 OK, everyone, 937 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,600 please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show! 938 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,719 Who will be reading the task out, young man? 939 00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:46,879 Amy Gledhill. Gledhill! 940 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,439 Sir. 941 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:52,599 "Wearing your mask correctly at all times, 942 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:57,519 "tell your team-mate when to stop with their mop. 943 00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:02,119 "The person whose mop stops closest to their face 944 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:06,599 "without touching their face wins the round. 945 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:11,199 "The mop bearer must slowly walk at a constant pace 946 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,600 "and softly squeak at a constant volume. 947 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,119 "Best team after five rounds wins." 948 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,479 It's a team task. 949 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,479 Joanna and Armando are one team, of course, 950 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,919 and then we've got the team of three. 951 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,159 It's like a squeaky joust. 952 00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,319 It's what Henry VIII used to do with his many wives. 953 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,720 Let's squeak-joust! 954 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:39,720 ARMANDO AND KUMAIL SQUEAK 955 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:42,839 Stop! 956 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,439 KUMAIL SQUEAKS Stop! 957 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,519 - Ooh! - Ooh! OOHING and AHHING 958 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,599 Stay there. I'm going to measure, I think. 959 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,839 Mm. From the nose to the mop, 960 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,679 we have 60cm, 961 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,359 to the middle of the mop. 962 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:56,839 We have 45cm. 963 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:57,999 The team of two are 1-0 up. 964 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,160 Oh! CHEERING 965 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,279 Very impressive. 966 00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,199 On the whistle, squeak. 967 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:12,960 JOANNA AND AMY SQUEAK 968 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,559 Stop. 969 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,119 AMY SQUEAKS Stop! 970 00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,079 Oh! 971 00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:24,359 He's struck. The mop touched the face. 972 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,760 The team of two win again. Oh, no! Oh! 973 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,200 Oh, very good! Woohoo! 974 00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,039 Come on! So close. Round three. 975 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,879 2-0 to the team of two so far, Greg. 976 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,559 Come on, team. Ready, squeak. 977 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:43,239 JOEL AND ARMANDO SQUEAK 978 00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:44,439 Stop! 979 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,479 JOEL SQUEAKS Stop! 980 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,239 Whoa! Oh! 981 00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:51,399 APPLAUSE Oh, that was good. 982 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:52,639 Ahh! 983 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,959 The team of three are back in it. Ooh! It's 2-1. 2-1. 984 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:56,479 CHEERING 985 00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,479 Can I be Amy? Yeah! Ooh! 986 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:00,759 I'm cool with that. I'm cool with that. 987 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,359 If you wouldn't mind raising your mops. 988 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:03,799 Do I look good? Yes. 989 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,879 You look fantastic. Masks on. 990 00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,719 Do not slow down, and squeak. 991 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:15,680 JOANNA AND KUMAIL SQUEAK 992 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,319 Stop! 993 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,359 KUMAIL SQUEAKS Stop! 994 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,959 AUDIENCE GASP - Oh! - Ooh! 995 00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,879 I think it's fine. Yeah. 996 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,319 I think it's fine. It's a centimetre. 997 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,959 I've gone metric. Wait, really? 998 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,319 The team of two have won again. 999 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,359 AMY GASPS It's 3-1 to the team of two. 1000 00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,319 Wow. Yay! Oh. 1001 00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:35,799 It was so close. 1002 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,240 The best celebration from Amy for a loss there. 1003 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,839 OK, it's the final round, Greg. 1004 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:42,039 Again, constant pace. 1005 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,119 No slowing down, and squeak. WHISTLE BLOWS 1006 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:50,759 ARMANDO AND AMY SQUEAK 1007 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,519 Stop! Stop! 1008 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,639 AMY SQUEAKS Ooh, this is close. 1009 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,159 OK, to the edge of the mop this time. 1010 00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,839 31cm. 1011 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,520 Whoa! To the edge of the mop... 1012 00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:04,279 ...13cm. They've won again. 1013 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,079 At 4-1, the team of two wins. 1014 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,319 CHEERING 1015 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,919 We'll add that to the scores. 1016 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,520 Come down and join me. Well done. 1017 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,119 What an enjoyable game. 1018 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,679 Joanna and Armando were in sync, weren't they? In sync. 1019 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:26,599 They won 4-1, which, of course, converts to 5-2 in points. Mm. 1020 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,199 So it's two points to the team of three, 1021 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:29,999 five to Joanna and Armando. There it is! 1022 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,999 CHEERING 1023 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,599 We're on the way! 1024 00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,439 So... So a close episode. 1025 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,399 The team of two both got 18 points. 1026 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,239 They're both in second place, 1027 00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:41,880 cos Amy's got 19 points! 1028 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,839 Amy Gledhill wins! 1029 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,319 As is the show's formality, 1030 00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,760 please get your objects with a personality! 1031 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:56,560 It's Amy Gledhill! 1032 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,080 Whoa-ahh! 1033 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,800 Subtitles by Red Bee Media